Tuesday Nov 5, 2024

Today is Election Day, perhaps the longest and most nerve wracking day of the year. I did not make any plans so I need to find things to fill the day.

I went to exercise first thing, came home and started cooking and baking. I made apple crisp and banana bread. Charlie did not like banana bread so this is the first time I made it. I followed a recipe from today’s NYTimes that came highly recommended. And, yes, it is very good! Baked an acorn squash, a kabocha squash. ...and turnips. Picked the calamondin oranges from my backyard and will make marmalade tomorrow. Will bake the pumpkin tomorrow too. If it sounds like I am nervously baking, I am.

I alternated baking/cooking with adding photos to my blog thanks to clear instructions from my very capable granddaughter.

Monday, Nov 4, 2024

I had a very unexpected but pleasant surprise this morning. I noticed that the newly repotted bromeliad sitting on the picnic table had several holes in it created by an overly zealous squirrel. The bag of potting soil was conveniently still next to it so I decided to fill said holes before taking the plant indoors for the winter. As I was filing the holes, an Eastern Phoebe flew right towards me, turning away just inches from my heart and landing on the edge of the bag of potting soil. It stayed there several minutes, allowing me to talk to him/her. I extended my arm hoping it would hop on as I was only about a foot away. It was so close to me! I wondered if it was one half of the pair that created a nest on my back porch last spring and was looking to make its second brood of the year.

Friday Nov 1, 2024

There was an article in the NYTimes this morning about Padma Lakshmi and a St Christopher medal she always wears, given to her by her late lover. Here’s an excerpt from the article in which she talks about the grief she felt:

“Those first three years after he died, I didn’t date. I didn’t do much. I would just get all of my things done for work, and it was good to have work. And then I would come home and I found great solace in actually thinking about him. And I would just wrap my grief like a shawl, like a cloak around my shoulders. And I was comforted by his memory. And I don’t think grief is a bad thing. I think it’s an important thing for us spiritually, no matter what religion you are or subscribe to. I think grief is just love with nowhere to go.

And I am glad that I experienced that grief. My grief, I realized, was commensurate to the love that we had between us. My only regret is that I didn’t have longer to show him how much I appreciated him… And so for me, feeling his presence and living with him, it is a good thing. He still teaches me something. Time has given me a new appreciation for this astonishing, generous human being that was in my life.” Padma Lakshmi

I, too, have 2 pieces of jewelry I wear every day: a pearl bracelet my two cousins gave me after I finished chemo in 2008 and a diamond ring that Charlie insisted on buying in 2018 when we celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary in Paris. In my mind, the trip to Paris was the anniversary gift but he insisted he always wished that he had given me a diamond ring. I’m not much into diamonds, and resisted until we passed a tiny jewelry shop Apriati, 54 rue du Four 75006 Paris, www.apriati.com, with an imperfectly shaped diamond ring in the window. (Apriati, by the way, is the ancient Greek word meaning a strong desire for having beautiful possessions) We went in, ostensibly to try it on and I walked out with it on my finger. I think Charlie was happier that day than I was. We realized later that because we had been walking so much my fingers were swollen and the ring was actually too big. For several years I wore it with an Etruscan wedding ring and a ring of pearls, my other 2 favorite rings. Sadly, since Charlie died, the Etruscan ring and the ring of pearls can no longer get past my knuckle. I wanted to have them resized but resizing would have changed the character of both rings. I just couldn’t do it. They now reside beside C’s ring in a beautiful ring dish, a meaningful gift from my granddaughter. So I only wear the diamond ring and yes, It’s still too big. I wear it together with a simple gold band just to keep it from falling off. I decided that the gold band had to mean something, so it has come to represent the first year I lived without Charlie. I’ll get another sometime before March, 2025, to mark the second. In the meantime, the little diamond ring with its imperfections and irregularities reminds me everyday of how happy Charlie was that day in Paris.

Monday Oct 28, 2024

I had planned on ending the blog with my return to the US. but I have been encouraged to continue by my granddaughter and future grandson. I’m not sure I will have much to say since my life has gone from Technicolor to black & white in the first week since I left Italy.

I was concerned about coming home to an empty & quiet house so before I left, I made a list of things to do as soon as I got home. At the top of the list, voting and paying the property taxes. Check. Sign up for a sewing course. Check. Have sewing machine serviced. Check. Charlie had given me that sewing machine years ago after watching me be stymied by another sewing machine that worked maybe half the time. I used the one he gave me mostly for repairs and easy alterations with the idea that someday I would learn how to really sew. Well, that someday is right now. Especially after seeing an awe inspiring exhibit of the History of Jacket Making on the top floor of Printemps in Paris. Oh my goodness, who knew that an exhibit so beautiful could, at the same time, leave you with the impression that you, too, can do this? I have two projects in mind: upcycle a dress I have loved for many years and make a dress with fabric that once belonged to my Grandmother Maria. Stay tuned. Another thing I did to chase away those post-perfect-trip-to-Italy-blues is something I knew would work, since it worked the first time under much sadder circumstances: I binge-watched Ted Lasso, the feel good, pop culture and pun laden TV series that never disappoints, even on the second go around.

While I was sitting at the table with my morning coffee, a little wren poked its head in the window. He/she was perched on the back of the wicker chair outside, hopping from side to side and craning its neck to get a better of view inside, of me, I suppose. Who knows how many times he/she came when there was no one on the other side of the glass? I hope I can get a photo next time. Sweet.

Went with Jay to see a wonderful performance of Amelie the musical at the Horizon Theater on Wedneday evening. It was truly delightful in every way, the stage sets, the music, the story, and especially the actors, many of whom doubled as musicians. Very talented theater group!

Friday, Oct 18, 2024

Overslept, I had trouble sleeping last night, heavy rain, thunder, lightning, Had a weird dream that Giorgio brought along a snobby, wealthy couple and would not tell me who they were or why he brought them. Strange, because I rarely remember my dreams. Went for a walk after I finished packing. The valley is foggy and cloudy and I’m glad I did the Pavarotti thing a few days ago.

Stella was surprised that I am leaving today. I put my suitcase by the front door as reminder. Giorgio arrived early, we had lunch with Stella and Luca. All in all, I have to say It’s been a perfect vacation, no hiccups that couldn’t be handled, if not by me, then by a member of the family. And it isn’t over yet, there stil 2 days in Mantova with G and his extended family.

Giorgio is exactly the kid Charlie & I met 30(!) years at the Atlanta airport. Did I tell you how we met? My mother gave our name to a friend who was looking for 2 families to host a couple of 17 year old Italian boys looking to learn English. We said yes without thinking. Yeah, sure we’ll do it. How hard could it be? On the way to the airport, we began to have second thoughts. What if he is spoiled or rude? We don’t know him. We didn’t even know what he looked like. Within seconds, of meeting, we were in love with him: he was funny and smart, and we enjoyed his company the rest of the summer. We stayed In touch, met his family in Italy, went to his wedding. In fact, he introduced us to other wedding guests as his American parents. He was a big kid then and he is big kid today. Only now, he is also a mechanical engineer, a husband, and a father of 2. Otherwise, exactly the same.

I am at loss for words, right now, I am leaving as soon as Giorgio finishes his phone call with his boss. Stella is reading the newspaper, Luca is off somewhere else and I have already said goodbye to Arminda and Marco. Nothing left to do but leave.

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Laughed all the way to Mantova, Giorgio told me one incredibly funny story after another about his life, his kids, his job, and Sara. Since we made such good time, we went directly to pick up his son, Gabriele from karatè. Beautiful boy. Lovely evening together with their friends, Andrea and Elisa whose son, Alberto, and daughter Cori are the same ages as the Rossini kids. Cori, a tiny acrobat, is already the person at the top of a human pyramid in one amazing but scary video after another.

Top row: Sara, me, Giorgio and Daniele, bottom row: Cristina and Rebecca

Giorgio and his son Gabriele.

Tuesday October 23, 2024

Yesterday was Stella’s 81st birthday. Her son Luca and brother Francesco took her to a nice restaurant in Florence to celebrate. I know that what she wanted more than anything was to renew her driver’s license. A few days before I left, she tried to renew it online only to discover that she needed to scan a written certificaton from her doctor. She couldn’t remember her doctor’s name, not even after I suggested looking through her address book. She would have found it a few pages in, her doctor’s name began with the letter B, Bellandi. She decided to go anyway (without an appointment!) because she knew where the office was located. I drove her there, left her in the waiting room and walked around for about a half an hour.

When I picked her up she was still in the waiting room. She said let’s go home. I said did you see Doctor Bellandi? She mumbled that she would take care of it another day.

I left Pietrabuona on Oct 18th. I couldn’t write anything then about saying goodbye to her. It was really, really difficult to walk away, knowing that her son would leave at the end of the month and that she would be alone in the big villa once again. If I am lucky, I might see her again but I cannot hope to stay with her anymore. Those days are over. I just hope that she accepts her son’s help in making the transition to whatever comes next as smooth as possible. I hope he does it as kindly as possible. I did not ask about his plans, it's none of my business, but while I was there, he sold one of the farmhouses to the Dutch couple that has been coming there for years. He has several more.

I will miss my friend. I am happy that over the years we had a lot of laughs together, had some great conversations, shared common interests and many great meals. I am happy to have known her and that we totally enjoyed each other’s company, pure and simple.

Monday October 21, 2024

Giorgio and I left Mantova at 6 am and got to the Venice airport at exactly 8am. The night before, he showed me how to put the boarding pass on my phone as he didn’t have a printer at home (no one in Italy does!). I am just so technologically savvy! With a little help from my friends, of course.

On the way to the airport, I watched a spectacular sunrise in the east. I would have photographed it but G was driving too fast. I told him to just leave me off in front of the airport but he wouldn’t hear of it. He found a parking space literally right in front (he has the same Parking Karma as Charlie) and insisted he would carry my luggage to the gate. He was amazed I spent 5 weeks in Europe with just carry on. He tells me next time I must teach Sara how to pack light.

He, of course, could not carry my luggage to the gate so we said our goodbyes and went our separate ways. He is such a wonderful human being, generous with his time, smart and very funny. I miss him already.

The flight was pretty uneventful, I ate too much, I alternated between napping and watching 2 really awful movies. I had enough time to watch a third but decide not to risk it. It would be more interesting to just stare at the seat ahead of me. And think.

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I’m home, my plane arrived 20 minutes early, I was the first person off the plane(!) and there were no lines at Passport Control. I breezed out of the airport in record time and Kate was waiting for me. It was all too easy.

I texted my family in Italy that I was home and got some really sweet messages from them. Federico told me to start planning the next trip. Now.

Sunday, Oct 20, 2024

My last full day in Italy, and it began with fog and rain. The kids, including Giorgio, talked about making me pancakes this morning. I really can’t think about eating after last night but we’ll do what we must. I watched, mostly giggling and suppressing outright laughter, while 3 Italians, one with the precision of an engineer and the other 2 with the awkward and messy approximation of children, made pancakes. They were pretty good, all things considered. They were served with whipped cream and nutella since there is no maple syrup in Italy.

Took a shower while they went to Mass. G & S are not particularly religious but Rebecca will have a her first communion Nov 3rd. So.

We had lunch with Giorgio’s sister Cristina & her husband Daniele, hands down, two of the nicest human beings on earth. I just love spending time with them. Cristina told us that she has enrolled in a women’s defense class because she travels for work. If she feels threatened, she was instructed to first raise her hands in a defensive position and then yell forcefully Stand BACK! (Stai indietro!) She was nervous at her first practice run, so she yelled Stand THERE! (Stai la!) Giorgio said that a would-be attacker would have cracked up and not have been able to regain their composure before she just ran away.

Came home around 4pm, Sara, Rebecca and I went to downtown Mantova just to walk off lunch. Gabriele and Giorgio reluctantly went to catechism class. Yesterday, when Giorgio and I went to the Clock Tower, downtown was virtually empty. Today it was packed with people attending a Sbrisolona Festival (a specialty of Mantova, it’s a very large cookie that you break off into pieces to eat) A Sbrisolona, made by his mother, and a cake dish large enough to hold it, were the first gifts Giorgio gave us when he came to Atlanta. He also gave me his mother’s recipe. I should try and make it sometime.

Walked around lesiurely in spite of the crowds, went inside the Basilica of Sant Andrea, a Renaissance church designed by Leon Battista Alberti, so breathtakingly beautiful. Lit 2 candles. The last time I visited, I was with Charlie.

Need to get up at 5:30 am and hit the road at 6. I’m going to bed now.

Saturday, Oct 19, 2024

Giorgio and I woke up before everyone else so he took me to a nearby pastry shop. He introduce me to the owner, Roberto, as his American parent. Roberto gave us some extra cookies, wink, wink. His entire family works with him behind the counter. I told Roberto that the brioche and cappuccino were the best I have had on my trip so far. Giorgio ordered cookies to take home, even though he said they weren’t any good. HA.

Afterwards Gabriele, Giorgio and I went to the Clock Tower to see an exhibit called “Time”. The Tower is attached to the Palazzo della Ragione where Charlie and I saw a marvelous show of the works of Marc Chagall several years ago. The hall, which is quite spacious (and currently empty) had been filled with temporary rooms to display his works according to medium: a room of water colors, a room of book illustrations, a room of paintings, many of which came from the private collection of a resident of Mantova. I walked away from that show with a profound appreciation of his work that I did not have before.

The Time exhibit in the Clock Tower had a fascinating time line of the history of time as well as a video (narrated by a friend of Giorgio’s) explaining how the clock, from 1473 was built, and how it came to be restored. The history of time itself is fascinating, I want to learn more about it.

We had a low key afternoon as the kids had commitments and then all 9 of us went to a great seafood restaurant for dinner. The owner is from the Amalfi Coast, she knows seafood and I am stuffed!

Random thoughts

On this first trip to Italy without my Charlie, I gave myself permission to slow down, relax, not fill every minute with mindless busy work, sleep late, embrace “l’arte di non far nulla” (the art of doing nothing) read, grieve, write, observe the world around me, see family. I did all of these things. My family was beyond wonderful. They invited me to dinner, took me to new places, revisited old favorites, and best of all, they spent time as if they had nothing better to do. They shared hilarious memories of Charlie. He was certainly well loved in these parts and we laughed A LOT. The feeling was mutual, he talked of them (and Italy) often and with affection. I, too, love it here and would like to come back often.

• My family has a wide variety of skill sets. If I ask the right person, I can get any problem handled.

• I packed for a 5 week trip with just one carry on bag. This is big, as I witnessed many travelers struggle with heavy suitcases/carry on/backpacks (often all 3!) and navigate airports/train stations with barricades in strategic locations to discourage cumbersome luggage. And once out of said stations/airports, navigate heavy luggage, etc on trains and cobblestone. It’s ridiculously hard. It’s best to travel light.

• Also an anti-theft purse worn under a jacket/sweater is a MUST. There are lots of pickpockets in crowded areas. And they blend right in because they dress like tourists. So it helps to look less like a tourist in the first place.

• I learned that I can drive in Italy and return the rental car with both rearview mirrors intact.

• I found that Airalo is the most economical way to avoid costly roaming charges while abroad. I bought an eSim card for Paris, $4.50 for the week, and one for Italy, $14.00 for the month. One thing to remember for next time is that the eSim card for Paris lasted almost another week longer. Could I have used it in Italy until it expired? I dunno. And I didn’t use up my Italy eSim either. I could have gotten by with a $10.00 eSim instead.

Last night, I watched a TED talk by someone who lost his wife, who before she died gave him the gift of a blank page to fill with new memories. I’m not the talented writer/poet that Charlie was, he filled many notebooks, but I can at least try to write.

So what am I going to do? Simply, more of what I like to do and less of what I don’t.

• Take more walks

• Make more collages

• Spend time with people who make me laugh

• Have more get togethers over good meals

• Maybe learn to dance the bachata? I’ll need a partner first

• Learn to sew or, at least, learn how to use the sewing machine properly

• Do more traveling, but with friends or family, its more fun to share experiences with others.

Plan next trip? Already on it.

Thursday Oct 17, 2024

Turned in the car at the Pisa airport, no problem. Anna took me back to Pietrabuona. We stopped in centro Pescia for one last cappuccino & pastry. And yakked and yakked. For two people who don’t see each other often we never run out of things to talk about. It’s amazing.

Had a quiet and quick lunch with Stella and Luca who is nursing a cold/flu/covid, he doesn’t know which. So we didn’t talk much. Actually over the last few weeks, several people have been sick with colds, flu, coughs and worse. Even Stella has been coughing and sneezing lately. I will be very grateful to arrive home without any of that, thank you very much.

The weather hasn’t helped either, it’s dreary, wet and cloudy. And for the first time, thunder and lightening! It was loud and felt close, probably because we’re so high up. I watched the valley fill with clouds earlier, there is something very magical about making entire mountains disappear.

Wednesday Oct 16. 2024

Overcast day, may rain.

Stella and I have breakfast together as Luca is in Florence for meetings. We have the same conversation as we do every morning. When we cleared the table, we couldn’t quite close the lid of her exquisite silver butter dish in the shape of a clam. The butter was too tall and the lid did not meet the dish. So she flipped the lump of butter 90 degrees and closed the lid. She said so this is what a degree in mathematics will teach you. I think I laughed for 10 minutes straight. Before she took over the Fattoria in the early 90’s she had an illustrious career as a statician for the Italian government. She has a degree from the University of London, having turned down Berkeley in California and MIT to be closer to home.

Afterwards, with a credit card in hand, I tell her we need to settle my account. She tells me she doesn’t know how to do it or how much to charge, looking all innocent. I say, Stella, I’m not joking. Then she remembers, OK OK, we could look up the price on her website. We fumbled around on her computer for several minutes until we found what we needed. Then we fumbled around for several more minutes with her infernal credit card machine until it finally printed out a receipt “Paid” What a sorry pair, the Grace & Frankie of Italy, it took a half hour to make a 5 minute transaction.

I met Federico in a restaurant in Pescia for a farewell lunch of sorts. He is so entertaining, I really enjoy spending time with him and talking about everything under the sun. He greeted several customers in the restaurant including a distinguished gentleman who asked him what he was doing having lunch with a “Signora.” They joked around, and later, Federico tells me he is the owner of a local book store, very cultured, very smart. Handsome, too, sigh. I noticed that Federico was watching me. Nothing gets past him.

Changing the subject only drastically, Federico casually mentioned that his parents want to retire on Isola d’Elba, not a bad place to be, I am told. Hmmmm

Tomorrow, I will get up early and turn in the car at the Pisa airport. Anna will meet me there and take me back to Pietrabuona.

Watched a Ted Talk tonight, very close to the bone. https://www.ted.com/talks/jason_b_rosenthal_the_journey_through_loss_and_grief?subtitle=en&geo=it

Tuesday Oct 15, 2024

Another wonderful day, this time in Lucca with Anna and Roberta. Left my car at Anna’s house, and she miraculously managed to find a free parking space just outside the walls of the city. They are getting ready for Lucca Comics & Games, Oct 30-Nov 3rd so there were plenty of detours, street closings and tent constructions underway. We walked around, met Roberta for lunch. We had a great time, talking, laughing and planning our next rendezvous: Dublin, Ireland in July 2025, then walked around some more. Even though I’ve been to Lucca many times, I never tire of it, there is always something new to discover, especially with people who know the city as intimately as they do. Before ending our afternoon with a walk on the walls surrounding the city, we walked the narrow streets filled with shops. We even walked past Franco Montanelli, Charlie’s favorite men’s wear shop. Over the years he had bought some really nice clothes there. The store front was empty, they had moved to another location but still within the walls of the city. Anywhere else in the world, I easily walk in and out of stores without buying anything. Here, I would have a serious shopping addiction: I want to buy everything: shoes! purses! kitchen stuff! linens! clothes! Christmas ornaments! garden art! Oh, man, it’s a good thing I came with only carryon, I lierally don’t have space for any purchases.

Before I left for Lucca this morning, I found Stella’s son alone in the office. I thought it would be good time to settle my account a few days early because both she and he had meetings in Florence, Thursday & maybe Friday. I did not want to pay at the last minute or risk getting lost in the shuffle. Since he arrived about a week ago, he has been a man of few words, all business, rarely smiled and never laughed. I tell him what I would like to do. He looks at me and says but you are a guest of my mother’s, you do not pay. I say nonononononononononono! He smiled and began to laugh. I say this is not a joke. He says I never joke, I am very serious, in fact, people tell me I am too serious. I say OK, then seriously, I am friend of your mother’s and also a client. I can be 2 things at once. Just then Stella entered the office and she said yes, you are my guest and that’s that. I wag my finger at her and tell her that’s not right and left for Lucca.

Roberta and her daughter Chiara on her iPhone

and her sister, Anna

Monday Oct, 14, 2024

Went to the supermercato to buy a couple of things for myself and a newspaper for Stella. When I got home, she walked in the house with a newspaper she had just bought. And so it goes. On the way, I discovered to my horror that there was a stink bug in the car. On me. Had to shoo it off as I was driving, then couldn’t find it when I got out.

At the confluence of the tightest fork in the road in Pietrabuona and a bridge, two giant trucks had to navigate passing each other and then round a sharp corner without jack-knifing. It was a marvel to watch them inch (or more accurately, centimeter) their way past each other, without scraping the walls of the houses on either side, taking out the lamps and balconies affixed to said houses. (Yes, there are no sidewalks, residents step out of their houses dirrectly into the street) or ripping off their respective rear view mirrors in the process. It required the precision of a Swiss watchmaker. My line of cars dutifully backed up the curved road to make room. The trucks eventually slithered past each other with microscopic millimeters to spare. Considering how…uh… animated Italian drivers are, I am surprised that there is no yelling, no wild gesturing, just resigned cooperation. It’s a fact of life.

This afternoon began the goodbyes, Lidia Lorenzo & Lucia, then Tina again because I left my hoodie at her apartment. Saw Maria Grazia there for the first time. She had been taking care of her ailing mother-in-law so this was my first and last chance to see her.

Sunday, Oct 13, 2024

Spent the first part of the day with Paola and Stella, cooking & talking. Paola invited me to come stay with her in Florence next time. She travels a great deal in Europe so I think she might be a good possibility as a travel companion? Will explore further.

Stella & her sister-in-law Paola

Cristina and Giuseppe picked me up around 3 and together we decided go to Vellano to check out the chestnut festival (La Sagra delle Frugiate) Which means eating roasted chestnuts and necci with ricotta. Yumyum. We parked below the town and walked uphill, stopping along the way to admire the town itself, the churches and the spectacular view of the valley below. At the top, in a little piazza was a group of folksingers/dancers/musicians dressed in mountain garb entertaining the crowd.

We ate necci on our way down, then bought bags of freshly roasted chestnuts, which we polished off by the time we got to the car.

We met up with Leo for dinner. Claudia was detained at the RR station in Florence by a strike that would be over by 10:30pm. ugh. Remind me to never take the train. The 4 of us had a great meal at a restaurant called Tagliere & Bicchieri, a place I passed numerous times but never noticed. Fabulous meal of fried fungi and pappardelle with fungi. Skipped dessert because we had two earlier the day.

Giuseppe, Cristina’s husband, and my cousin Leo

Going to Vellano was another unexpected surprise like walking up to Montecatini Alto. Such a simple pleasure, it’s really my favorite thing to do. Here or anywhere.

Saturday, Oct 12, 2024

Arminda worked until noon, Luca & Stella went out for the day, Paola is not coming until tomorrow so I have the whole place to myself. Took advantage of the warm, sunny weather and sat outside in the garden to read and think about things. It’s nearing the end of a splendid sojourn, and while I am sad to leave, I’m also glad to go/come home. It’s goodbye to the Fattoria, as Stella cannot continue for much longer and her son seems uninterested and not temperamentally suited to take over.

Being here has been amazingly therapeutic for my mental/emotional well being and I will be eternally grateful for the new good memories I carry with me from this day forward. I am reminded of one of Charlie’s sweetest rituals carried out at the very last minute before we left Pietrabuona. I debated whether to do it, too. OK, I’ll do it 5 days early, I tell myself, mostly because there is no one else around and I don’t have to explain anything to anyone. I walked up the narrow dirt road behind the villa that leads to Casa Gigi, where Charlie and I stayed many times. Back then, he carried speakers to play music in Casa Gigi. He would set them at full blast facing the valley below. Today, I set up my iPhone on the stump of a cyprus tree midway between the 2 houses and played Charlie’s favorite recording of Luciano Pavarotti singing “Nessun Dorma”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWc7vYjgnTs

And, of course, I sobbed.

But not for long, first I was approached by a father & son looking for the disc golf course, and then by a woman looking for the swimming pool. I was glad to point them in the right direction.

Later, Leonardo and Elisa came to pick me up for my last dinner of the year at Podere Gori. Alessio, Vanessa and Alissa came as well as Elisa’s parents, Roberta and Andrea, an adorable couple that I met for the first time. Giovanni and Elena were not there. Ate too well and too much! Emanuela suggested that next year I stay with her at Podere Gori and then she would come to US and stay with me for a month. Of course, I said yes.

View from my bedroom window

Friday Oct 11, 2024

Another wonderful day.

I spent the afternoon with Tina. We reminisced and looked through old photos and came across one I had given her of my grandparents in front of an old farmhouse. The photo captured them so perfectly that I asked Charlie to make several prints, one of which is now framed and hanging in the guest room. It’s my favorite photo of them. Charlie & I had always been curious about the location of the farmhouse, and even went to look for it based on Tina’s vague directions.

This time, I asked Tina if she remembered the street address, she said no but she could take me there. So we drove to the area between Ponte Buggianese and Casabianca, parked in a residential area and set out on foot. It had been built up since then and we knew that we might not find it. We asked a man sitting in his front yard repairing olive nets. He referred us to someone around the corner. The homeowner around the corner who was mowing the grass, invited us to sit at his picnic table to talk. Like he had all the time in the world. We had such a lovely conversation with Signore Camarotto. He couldn’t help us as he only lived there about 40 years but his next door neighbor, who was a little older, might know. He offered to introduce us to him (Sig. Gentilleschi?) a history buff who knew a lot about the area. Sadly, he was not home. Signore Camarotto then referred us to a street where, coincidentally, we had parked the car. He told us to follow it all the way to where it forks and take the left fork. There would be other older farmhouses. We found a number of them similar in style to the one in the photo. I’m pretty sure we were close, or at least in the right area. (via Firenze off of Via del Popolo, the Barbestetica barbershop on the corner, not far from the big hotel like building in Santa Maria) The view of the surrounding hilltowns was just so beautiful, especially late in the afternoon. It’s exactly the kind of place my grandparents would have chosen to live.

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Note to self: Several days later, on the way to the airport, I noticed that if I take a right on via Santa Maria from via Pesciatina and take the first right fork, I will end up on the street with the big hotel like building. Just past that on the left is the little street where we think my grandparents’ house is potentially located. It’s a much easier way of getting there than the way I came with Tina. Also easier to remember.

Thursday Oct 10, 2024

Drove to Lucca in pouring rain and came back 5 hours later to sunny blue skies(!) I am amazed at how fast the weather changes here. I spent those 5 hours with Anna, Francesco and Nicole who was only in town for a few days. She live in Barcelona now so it was my only chance to see her. She spent a year with us in 2014, learning English at GA Tech so she, Charlie and I share(d) a special bond. An all around great day of conversation, laughter and good food. We caught up on everything going on in our respective lives. Francesco manages to maintain a sense of humor despite ongoing health challenges. He dreams of a motorcycle trip on Route 66. I tell him let’s do it, I’ll follow them in a car!

I was glad to be out of the house all day as Luca and Stella seemed intent on getting down to business right away.

Wednesday, Oct 9, 2024

This morning at breakfast Stella asked me if today was Tuesday. With some hesitation, I tell her today is Wednesday. Oh, she says Luca arrives today! I was almost hoping she would forget because it’s raining. Miraculously, by midmorning the rain stopped, the clouds cleared and yesterday’s severe weather predictions were …history. My commitment for the day fell through so, right after lunch, Stella and I went grocery shopping at Esselunga. The store was nearly empty and she and I had a good time yucking it up and giggling up and down the aisles. For someone who hates grocery shopping as much as I do, I’m amazed at how much fun it can be. And, of course, I bought more cashmere socks. As we left the parking lot, I accidentally called Pietrabuona “Casabuona” (good house) and it struck me that I really feel like this is home.

We came home to find the exterior wall of the house covered in stink bugs (cimice in Italian). Hundreds of them! I quickly unloaded the groceries and ran upstairs to close my bedroom doors & windows. They were inside the house as well. Stella and I spent about an hour filling 3 jars of alcohol with just the ones we caught on the first floor. UGH! We took a break to have our usual afternoon tea and cookies before she left for the airport in daylight. I made sure she took her beloved newspaper and made her promise she would wear her seat belt.

Then I tackled my bedroom which had its fair share of stink bugs, too. I don’t know how I am going to sleep tonight, knowing they are lurking behind the curtains, between the radiator slats and any other creepy place those creepy bugs can hide.

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Changing the subject only drastically, some time ago, I watched a video of Andrew Garfield talking about the grief he felt when his mother died. It is far more eloquent than anything I could say and profoundly accurate. Here it is:

https://edition.cnn.com/2024/10/08/entertainment/andrew-garfield-all-there-is/index.html

I also came across this quote from an article written by Samantha Joseph: “Now it’s time to find out who I am. To make the most of each new day I have. To bring purpose to my loss and grief. To love other people and to know they love me back. To love myself. To live, for both of us.”

Tuesday Oct 8, 2024

Another foggy cloudy rainy day in Pietrabuona. Stella asked me several times if today was Saturday. I tell her, no, it’s Tuesday. Domani, Wednesday, is the day you go to the airport to pick up your son, I tell her. Oh yes, of course, she says. His plane lands in the evening which means that she will drive to Florence at night. By herself. I can’t go with her as I have another commitment. I texted her sister-in-law in Florence to see what she thinks. I am hoping she offers to get Luca, bring him home and then stay overnight at Pietrabuona. Nope, she tells me Luca can take the bus and stay in his apartment in Florence. A weather advisory of possible flooding has been issued for tomorrow and none of us should be on the road.

Stella and I watched the news at lunchtime. Parts of Italy have already flooded and some houses have sustained damage. It is now 3:30pm and, again, from my bedroom window, I cannot locate my car in the fog. It looks and feels like the opening scene of a Fellini movie.

Across the ocean, another hurricane, Milton, is brewing in the USA, only days after Helene ripped through parts of GA, NC. FL, VA etc. Oi.

Strangely, there was less fog around 6 when Giovanni came to pick me up for dinner at his house. Emanuela is still recovering from carpal tunnel surgery so we feasted on a very simple meal of, among other things, toasted Tuscan bread with freshly pressed olive oil. From their olive trees at Podere Gori. There is nothing better than this, absolutely delicious!!! Giovanni made my favorite dessert, neccio, a kind of crepe made with freshly milled chestnut flour and filled with fresh ricotta. Again, there is nothing better than this! I thanked Giovanni for coming to get me and taking me home. No small thing as it is a one hour round trip in the dark. He says to me, why are you thanking me? It’s the least I can do, you came all the way from America.

We had an interesting conversation about garbage collection in Italy. It is collected every day. Every household puts out their refuse depending on the day of the week: Mondays only paper, Tuesdays, only plastic, Wednesdays only compostible material, etc. Also the trucks have automatic forks on the side of the truck (not in the back) and the fork lift picks up the receptacle, dumps into the truck and puts the receptacle back exactly in the same place. All done with just one driver. It makes soooooo much sense.